For a lot of comedians, this is their passion and for some their career. For me to say that I'd like to perform in front of an audience, it might come across like me telling a surgeon, "yeah, I've thought about cutting up some people, I'll give it a try". Not only would I be misunderstanding what it means to be a surgeon, but I'd also be disregarding the effort it took to become one.
There are dozens of open mics in Chicagoland, but I go to about 1 or 2 a week, which is paltry compared to many of the other comics. There are people who will go out every night, constantly honing their act, networking, etc. It can literally take up the same amount of time as a job, without pay. That might sound crazy to someone not trying to do comedy. The thing is, it sounds a little crazy to me. I admit to spending a decent amount of time thinking about comedy. But I don't want to go to an open mic (or two or three) every night. If I don't want to, and someone else does, then they're likely going to be better than I am, or at least more deserving.
Reputation matters, and you can't get that by doing this for a few months. I'm sure there are people who did some open mics, then went on with their lives, and years later they'll tell people "Yeah, I used to do comedy". No you didn't, and neither am I, not until I've been doing this for much longer.
The other reason I might not get anywhere is that I'm just not that funny. But that's another frustration of a new comic like me. There's no real way to know if you're funny or if other people think you're funny. I've been fortunate to do enough open mics to get recognized and get the occasional "good set" (congratulations on a job well done, sometimes it's just courteousness). The first time that happened I had split feelings. I was sitting next to someone who did well, and a comic told him "good set", saw me sitting next to him and said it to me too. A) It was clearly mostly because I had just been sitting next to him, but B) it still felt good to hear it. But back to my point, eventually you'll know if you're good because you'll be asked to do shows, or you'll ask to be in a show and the host/organizer ok's it.
I'm not at a point where I feel I have enough solid material to do a show, nor solid enough on stage to present that material. So, I'm not going to ask. And I haven't been doing this nearly long enough to where anyone is really going to accept me or ask me to be in a show. I want to clarify that I'm not complaining about this, just recognizing it. This is the process, and I'll have to put in the time. But to go back to my first point, if I'm not putting in the time that others are, maybe that means that my goal of performing never happens. There are ways to get on a showcase without being asked, and I'll likely go that route for my "first time", because it's a pretty common way to go (more on that in another post).
And that's another dangerous aspect of being so new; there's a very, very real possibility that I'm not cut out for this. But I won't know for a while. On the other hand, one could argue that there is no "goal", that this process IS the goal. There's a lot of truth in that, yes. But who wouldn't be bummed after realizing that they're ultimately not cut out for an endeavor that they've spent a decent amount of time on. If I could just remove the goal of performing for an audience, then I can't be disappointed. Too late, though, it's in my head, so it's not going away.
I'm not good with conclusions.
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